My husband and I got married in March 2017. However we met in 2015. I noticed that he was hyper, eager, always moving around with lots of energy. In that moment I felt like he was so creative. He was always writing things down, always drawing little things, always jumping from thing to thing. Sometimes it would be frustrating but then I would express that I wasn’t into that idea and he would move on to another.
As time moved on, it became clear that he was using marijuana, he openly flaunted this in front of me despite my repeated pleadings to stop. I immediately knew something was wrong because he was suddenly so cruel to me. He would insult me, call me names, get extremely angry at me and ignore me. I wanted to break up with him but he begged me not to and I had a ticket to his country for Christmas. I arrived and was thrilled to see my love but he was shaggy and unkempt. He had gained weight and just wasn’t himself. But looks hardly matter in love. And I was deeply in love.
Being reunited made me so happy. But there was an awkward tension because I had said that if he used marijuana I would take the next flight out. I felt his aggravation with me. He was also very easily agitated. If I said something, it was stupid. If I wanted to do something, he didn’t want to. If I wanted some affection I was needy. It was a miserable trip. The day I left he went and bought a large quantity of marijuana and invited strangers to live with him in his parent’s downstairs apartment. They came home to find things missing, their son barely responsive, and strangers in their home.
It would become a familiar event. He was hospitalized soon after from January until May. I had broken up with him the day before for horrible abuse but I felt like something was wrong, so the next day I called his father and he told me the events. I was heartbroken.
I entered counseling, my grades in school plummeted, my hair started falling out, I was a mess. But I had accepted a job over there so in May I went to work. I didn’t intend to get back together, but we fell together and it was overall a wonderful summer. It seemed the treatment did great things for him, but he had escaped and was bound to do marijuana again.
It was only a matter of time before the abuse started again, but for one summer I felt like I was loved. Now I miss that time.
Emilia Clark Writes 